Carrie Isaac 2.0: Hillary Hickland’s Legislative Preview
Carrie Isaac walked so Hillary Hickland could stumble.
In May 2023, during the 88th Legislative Session, Representative Carrie Isaac (R-HD73) took the mic to defend her bill. Unfortunately, the bill wasn’t the only thing lacking structure. She struggled to provide clear or coherent answers to even the simplest questions. With every pause, blank stare, and slogan attempted as an answer, it became clear Isaac had entered uncharted territory: legislative debate.
Enter the cavalry of helpful male colleagues, shuffling to the front mic like a dysfunctional Greek chorus, whispering what were presumably answers. It wasn’t just bad optics—it was theater.
Indeed, a classic:
Carrie Isaac’s performance during the 88th Legislative Session left much to be desired, standing out as a low point regarding legislative competence.
Move over, Carrie Isaac. There’s a new dimwit in town, and she’s obsessed with children and sex. 😬
I admit I’m still spying on the Republicans on Twitter. They are so entertaining, and they’ve been clawing at each other non-stop since the election. It’s like watching a glorious, fantastic trainwreck complete with the worst people in the world.
Hillary Hickland (R-HD55) is like Carrie Isaac, poised to crown herself the empress of “I’ll legislate it because it sounds scary” regarding her attempts to reignite a Texas war against dildos. But in another sense, Hickland is also channeling Nate Schatzline’s particular brand of obsessive fear-mongering. Schatzline built his reputation by seeing threats to children’s morality lurking around every corner, often where none exist. From drag shows to libraries, he’s turned policy-making into a crusade against imaginary sexual boogeymen.
Related:
Hickland’s fixation on intertwining sex and children in her rhetoric follows this same playbook as Schatzline. Check it out:
Hickland’s comment in this exchange is a red herring—a rhetorical strategy in which an irrelevant comment is used to divert attention from the main issue—children being gunned down in schools. Instead of addressing what Sara said, Hickland was trying to shift the conversation to an emotional reaction rather than the substance of the original argument.
It’s a troubling response that shows a deeper issue with Hickland’s approach to governing. Instead of discussing real challenges, such as the epidemic of gun violence or the underfunding of Texas schools, she chooses to dive headfirst into manufactured culture wars (against dildos).
Much like Schatzline, Hickland thrives on the politics of distraction. By focusing on sensational, emotionally charged topics—whether it’s the “sexualization of children” or the faux threat of adult toys—she avoids having to grapple with policy areas where real solutions are needed.
But that’s not all.
Hickland made a relatively benign comment: “Parents are already empowered. Get over yourself.”—and somehow twisted it into a personal safety concern, implying she would shoot the person who said that (#2AKindaGirl).
Like—dafuq?
Let’s break this down: Someone disagreed with her, told her to calm down, and instead of engaging in a civil debate, she leapt straight to invoking the Second Amendment. Hickland didn’t just miss the mark; she skipped the target altogether and landed somewhere between paranoid and absurd.
Is this really where we are now? Where public figures interpret mild criticism as a direct threat and respond with thinly veiled references to shooting people? It’s not just bizarre—it’s dangerous.
Hickland isn’t just wrong. She’s reckless.
But maybe the issue is simpler than we think: maybe Hillary Hickland, like Carrie Isaac, just doesn’t seem to understand words.
At least, not in the way most of us use them. Like Carrie Isaac’s legislative performance revealed her inability to comprehend basic questions about her bill, Hickland’s Twitter meltdowns suggest a similarly tenuous grasp of language and meaning.
Hickland’s reactions tell us less about the commenters and more about her inability to engage with ideas—or even basic sentences—in good faith. It’s not that she intentionally misunderstands words. She genuinely seems incapable of processing them without jumping to the most extreme and illogical conclusions. It’s the same skill set—or lack thereof—that Isaac demonstrated at the mic, struggling to answer what her bill did.
The irony of it all? For someone who claims to champion “educational freedom,” Hickland doesn’t seem particularly interested in intellectual engagement. Words, to her, are not tools for dialogue but weapons to escalate every disagreement into a performative outrage.
Will Hillary Hickland be out of her depth in the 89th Legislative Session?
Hickland is the perfect embodiment of the modern Republican approach to culture wars. Now, for a masterclass in tone-deafness, using Hip Hop culture as a prop to push a conservative agenda.
Coolio also said in that song, “I’m a educated fool with money on my mind. Got my ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye. I’m a loc’d out gangsta, set trippin’ banger. And my homies is down, so don’t arouse my anger.”
Hickland seems to have missed that part of Gangsta’s Paradise. Coolio’s lyrics were a poetic exploration of struggle and survival—not an endorsement for shoving religion into public schools. The song was rooted in the realities of his experience, which is far more than can be said for Hickland’s bullshit appropriation. (🙏🏻 RIP Coolio.)
Hillary Hickland’s antics show us exactly what kind of lawmaker she is: unserious, out of her depth, and all too eager to distract from real issues with performative outrage.
Texans deserve better than legislators who prioritize posturing over problem-solving. As we gear up for the 89th Legislative Session, one thing is clear: Hickland isn’t here to lead; she’s here to perform. And for those of us watching from the left, the only thing left to do is laugh, vote, and hope the next generation of lawmakers brings more to the table than misplaced outrage and half-baked Twitter arguments.
The bar for leadership shouldn’t be this low.
January 7: Joint Legislative Committee - Effects of Media on Minors
January 14: The 89th Legislative Session begins.
March 14: The last day Legislators can file bills.
June 2: The 89th Legislative Session ends.
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This is reminding me of another dimwit by the name of Walter ( Mad Dog) Mengden. He was a state representative then later state senator from Houston. His claim to fame is memorialized in a film " Dildo Diaries". The time was 1973, here we go again. Sad part is he had family members that he hurt by his bill.
“Performative outrage” is so accurate